Thursday, October 27, 2011

Letter to Jillian #2

Dear Jillian,

Since October is breast cancer awareness month, I thought this would be the perfect time for me to tell you GiGi's cancer story line.

GiGi, before cancer

I'll never forget when Papa and GiGi told Jo-Jo and I the news.  We were at our church for a holiday craft festival in November, when they asked us girls to go upstairs to talk.  Jo- Jo and I  were both nervous and didn't know what to expect to hear.  I really can't even remember who said it first but when I heard the word cancer the first words out of my mouth were "Oh No!", and tears followed shortly behind.  I, mommy had just found out I was pregnant with you, and I was filled with emotions.  But Papa and GiGi stayed strong, well maybe with a few tears, and told us that we were gonna fight this thing.  And so she did!

In October of 2007, GiGi was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Although she was never given a stage of severity her outcome looked good.  She had met with all the right doctors and they had a plan.  First a biopsy, then surgery, then chemo and radiation.

GiGi underwent surgery November 2007.  They removed one of her breasts, or boobie's as you call them, and pretty much all of her lymph nodes under her arms.  Lymph nodes are these small little balls that we have throughout our bodies, that trap foreign particles, such as cancer, so that's why they had to remove them.  She came home that same day, very sore and very groggy.  

Shortly after her surgery she started chemo and radiation.  Chemo is a mean nasty drug that kills cancer but makes you feel like crap while doing it.  GiGi had 3 rounds of this nasty medicine, and then a few lesser ones after that.  It worked, the chemo had killed her cancer and GiGi went into what they call remission for six months.  I think she was even in remission when you were born.

August 2008

Unfortunately it didn't last long.  After almost one year had gone by, since she was diagnosed, one of GiGi's scan's came back and it looked as though cancer had come back.  This time in other areas of her body.  She did everything the doctors suggested and fought harder than you could ever believe! Your GiGi was one STRONG lady.

 She got to be here for me when you were born, and she got to see Jo-Jo and Andy get married.  I think that those two things made her fight even harder.  Just the mention of you, Miss Jillian and her eyes would light up and you could see the excitement in her bubbling up.  We spent just about every Sunday with GiGi, and every holiday that came up.  She fought for about 2 1/2 years, October 2007 until February 2010.  Always remember baby, she was not ready to go, nor did she give up, her body just couldn't take it anymore.

There is so much little girl, that I want to tell you and want you to remember about how wonderful your GiGi was.  I am going to try my best to write you these letters to tell you about just how great she was and to write down all the blessed memories that we have of her, but I can not tell a lie, this is really hard for mommy to do.  I love seeing all the pictures of her with you, but it makes me miss her so much.  Just yesterday as I was looking through all the pictures of you two together, I found a video of GiGi making you laugh.  And even though you can't see GiGi, you can hear her.  Oh how that brought back memories, just to hear her talking.  What I would give to be able to call her and talk to her!  I would tell her all about you and what a wonderful little girl you are, and how you make me smile everyday.

I'll write again soon, I hope but for now I'll leave you with some of my most treasured memories, pictures of you with GiGi!

This was at cousin Amy's wedding, I think GiGi bought you those adorable little pink shoes!
~October 2008

This was Thanksgiving at Memaw Helen's house
November 2008

Here GiGi was probably getting you dressed and talking to you, she loved to talk to you.
~Fall/Winter 2008

All dressed and one of my favorite pics of you both, look at those beautiful smiles, she was so happy!

Kisses, oh how she showered you with kisses!

And tickles, your laugh just made her day.

This was your 9 month photo shoot at Papa and GiGi's house.

April 2009

Same photo shoot, but it was close to Easter and this was your Easter dress.

Mommy keeps the nursery at church and GiGi always sat in to play with you.  You loved making this face.
~Spring 2009

The pond in the back of the house at GiGi's, you loved to stick your feet in it.
~Summer 2009
Love you baby girl,


  1. Oh my, here go the tears, once again. Jillian, your Gigi was so in love with you. I believe there are angels that watch over us, that guide us and speak to our hearts. When your heart speaks to you, or you sense a warmth around you, I sure it is your Gigi giving you a hug.

  2. Carissa,
    When I went to post the comment, the word verification was "Sing". How perfect, was that when talking about Jennifer. Now if I go to post this and it says, Dance, or Drama....
    The clock is chiming in my kitchen right now.

  3. Jillian your GIGI loved you so much. She was an awesome women. You could tell, you where her world. Darling just like your cousin Chase (who's grandma is in heaven with your GIGI) you have an angle looking over you every min of the day! Your GIGI loved her family and I know she would love the girl you are becoming. She would be so proud of you. You are an amazing little girl.

    Cousin Cynthia XOXOXOXOXO

  4. I can't read these I tear up everytime. Your a strong woman i tell ya! and so was she!

  5. I have to say that this is just as sad as the last post. The video was great, it is funny how much Jillian and Wyatt are alike, from looks to the laugh. It really does feel strange to hear her voice and know that we will never again hear it in person. I am tearing up just writing this, but feel comfort knowing the Mom is looking down on us and watching over us. I am glad that if Mom can't be here, we know that she is keeping us safe in heaven. I know that Jillian will cherish these letters that you write to her and will know from the pictures and videos, how much her Gi Gi loved her!


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